Patient, “I want my head up”.
Nurse, while raising the head of the bed, “Just tell me when to stop.”
Patient, “No, that’s to high. Put my head down.”
Nurse, while now lowering the head of the bed, “Just tell me when to stop.”
Patient, “No, that’s not it. I want the bed flat, but my head on 5 pillows.”
Nurse, trying not to roll eyes, “5 pillows? There is no physical way I can put 5 pillows under your head. Wouldn’t simply raising the head of the bed do the same thing?”
Patient, “No. I want the bed flat, but raised.”
Nurse, “Do you mean the you want the head of the bed raised now?”
Patient, “No, I want the head flat, my body flat, and whole bed raised up.”
Nurse, “But, I thought you wanted your head up.”
Patient, “No, the whole bed has to come up. There’s more air up high than there is down low. I need air.”
Nurse, thinking maybe the 5 pillows should go ON the pt’s head, “Oh, really? That’s interesting.”
More exciting quotes as they are spoken…